Tips for Getting the Most out of Marriage Counseling

October 30th, 2017

Engaging in marriage counseling with your partner does not always mean there are troubles within the relationship. Joining forces with your partner and working together in a setting where a third party professional is present, is a great way to strengthen your relationship regardless of any complications. Now that you and your partner are ready to begin marriage counseling, here’s how you both can get the most out of each session with the counselor.

Maintain honesty with your partner and the counselor

As you start your counseling session, go in with an open mind and honest heart. Being honest in the presence of a counselor allows them to hear your concern and give constructive feedback. If you and your partner are struggling with a particular subject, you will want to explain all of your feelings towards the topic, your reactions, and your partner’s reactions. If the counselor asks you a direct question, give them a direct and honest answer. If you give back a wishy-washy answer, you will only see a wishy-washy result in your relationship.

Establish continual engagement during the session

When you begin marriage counseling or couples therapy, you need to make sure that you “show up” to the counseling session. Just because you are sitting in the room does not mean you are mentally present. Showing up means having continuous engagement when the counselor is asking you questions. It is just as important for your partner to hear your words as it is for the counselor to hear them.

But beware, you will want to make sure you do not begin playing the game of following the leader.To break the cycle of following the leader you must take the lead by addressing pertinent issues, owning up to your faults, and avoid falling in line with what the other people in the room are saying. It is never okay to sit back and ride the passive wave.

Drop all defenses and walls

Starting marriage counseling may not have been something you wanted to do. Building walls and putting up your best defense is very easy to do when you go into any situation with a negative attitude. To make strides of improvement with your partner, you need to drop all your defenses and tear down all your walls. A tool to help you tackle this is to write down your faults or the things you may be struggling with before you get into the session. Then, when those areas are brought to light, you will be more prepared and open to speak about them.

Marriage counseling or couples therapy is a way to strengthen your relationship with your partner. Maintaining honesty, having continual engagement, and dropping all walls and defenses during each session will help you and your partner get the most out of marriage counseling. Keeping these tips in mind when you engage in discussion with your partner outside of the counselor’s office will strengthen your relationship even more.